Actions have consequences

You all have had it. Which is fair. You sent me your petty grievances. Thank you. Now, here are the consequences I suggest. Together, we can make this world a little less ugh.

News

We have a winner!

The first draw was held on October 28th and we have our winner; Chrissy D! Yay!! Her name has been added to my acknowledgment doc and her wonderful sticker prize will be adorning her water bottle/laptop/front door soon. The next draw will be held on November 26th, so still plenty of time to get me your grievances. And omg, I just realized American Thanksgiving is between now and then and hence, there is just SO much to be annoyed about grateful for. I'm really excited to see what comes into my inbox. And on that note: Y'all, I'm touched. Seriously. I didn't know if this little game would take-off but I'm struggling to keep up with all your kvetching. It warms my heart. Stay amazing. -C

We have a winner!
The grievance

People oversharing and taking up time in courses and meetings! Be efficient people! Get your therapy somewhere else.

Handled
The consequence

No. 006

Memorize the ingredients in Cream of Wheat and how to prepare it and then the next time you are in a meeting with this person, randomly announce how it's your favourite food. Then, very slowly (I'm talking turtle pace), go through said ingredients (the health benefits, the drawbacks, everything) and describe how to best prepare it (with alternatives and modifications of course). If the offender tries to interrupt, hold your hand up to silence them and remind them you are speaking and you'll be done when you're done.

The grievance

Husband Sneezes.

Handled
The consequence

No. 004

Dude. Seriously. Why? Do I go around the house spontaneously screaming and then expect my family to calmly ask God to bless me? No, no I do not. But that's the new consequence. One sneeze = one opportunity for me to spontano-scream and no one is allowed to say shit. Besides maybe "Bless you, you absolute baddie."

The grievance

Every single WhatsApp parent group.

Handled
The consequence

No. 002

My patented method for dealing with this has been muting them and then just asking my most evil of friends to screencap and send me the best bits. BUT, this makes me an evil-doer which is the opposite of the point of this exercise. I think what we really need to do is dig deep and apply loving kindness. Modern parenting can be pretty brutal. Between public school boards collapsing and social media trying to eat our children (and then food companies maybe actually poisoning them? I have no idea) it’s pretty bleak out there. If you can’t just avoid and delete, offer to bring allergen-free cupcakes to whatever event is occurring and then just lay low. If those people aren’t your people, go find your people and drink a tea together under a tree.

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