You all have had it. Which is fair. You sent me your petty grievances. Thank you. Now, here are the consequences I suggest. Together, we can make this world a little less ugh.
No. 012
Haters get one hour to send you a poem that convinces you they are a poetry aficionado. If they fail, public shaming.
No. 011
They must spend one full day with dog poop on their shoes and schmeared onto their clothes.
No. 010
This grievance is shared by many. And honestly, sometimes the offender creates their own consequence. For example; I will forever be warmed by the schadenfreude I experienced on the streetcar when a couple opted to have a full-on, speakerphone enabled domestic as the person I was sitting beside was eviscerated by their enraged partner as they read out their recently procured STI test results. Alternatively, just play Baby Shark on your phone loudly enough that they can no longer engage in their conversation.
No. 007
Okay, if there is a financial or physical reason, all the love, Boo. But if you're just a Halloween Scrooge? Nah. I actually think we need to bring back the trick for a lack of treats. The house that doesn't participate, the kids get to throw all their unwanted raisins and Bounty bars on your lawn. I hope you like raccoons.
No. 009
#1) I see you, you are not invisible, and I'm sorry. #2) Imagine this happening to you in a situation wherein there is no power imbalance. How would you feel? How would you react? Is this a you thing or are they maybe a little rude/scattered/overwhelmed? Head-up, shoulders back, keep moving forward. You've got this.
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